Starlog: 2307

I've been having quite a few problems meditating lately because I'm very uptight and nervous each time I begin, and by the time I finish, I'm so frustrated with the whole endeavour that I give it up for days at a time. However there have been a few select instances in which I have managed to calm myself enough to feel refreshed after meditatinig, instead of feeling dissapointed. Still, I am nowhere close to where I want to be. I find balancing the left and right sides to be very helpful, and raising the kundalini doesn't hurt, but all this business of chakras and warm and coild energy is, for me, distracting and unneccessary. Granted, I shouldn't talk, considering I've had so little success.

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These are my meditation notes for the last few days. (I couldn't access blogger from my computer for some reason.) On Thursday I felt sick enough that I went to sleep as soon as I got home, so it was an extremely unproductive day, meditation-wise. I slept for about 15 hours on Friday, and didn't wake up until quite late, so I didn't do a morning meditation. During the evening, I tried to cleanse my left and right channels before meditating, which worked pretty well. I meditated for about 5-10 minutes (I took the batteries out of my clock so it would stop ticking, so I don't know the exact time). There were more thoughts floating through my brain than on Wed., but I figure I was kind of out of practice. So far today I have only done my morning mediation. It was mediocre, I guess. My hands felt somewhere between cool and nothing. I do feel a little more focused now.
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Zosias (via Email) (02.03.2006)

And here's my report for today: Here's my report for todays meditation. Morning : This morning was hard to meditate because I was late waking. When I actually started meditating, I tried to cleanse my right channel, but was interupted and had to get on the bus. It was frustrating. Evening : It was somewhat hard to focus, so, like Brenna did, I focused on my breathing which helped. I worked on cleansing both sides. My right hand was warm, but this time my left hand went from warm to cool. Thanks again Vic. I'll send you my report for tomorrow. Zosia
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I am posting more about evening meditations because it's hard for me to remember my morning meditation and I don't have time to get online in the morning, anyways. I have also found it hard to meditate with no distractions, but it's good when my parents haven't come home from work yet and I'm in my room. As silly as this might sound, I lit some candles, turned off the lights, and turned my radio to nature sounds so I would be calmer and not hear too much background noise. Okay! Again, I focused a lot on my breathing, which helps. As Vic suggested, I also focused on the attention-at-Sahasrara, and I got sort of a funny feeling. Or lack, thereof. Normally, when I hold my hand over my head, I am very aware that my hand is there and I can almost feel it. Yet after meditating, before opening my eyes, it seems like I can't tell that my hand is there. Hmm... Does that mean anything? See you guys.
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